Excitement, loss, hope and joy!

After 2 ½ + years, 2 miscarriages, 1 fertility specialist, 1 hematologist and 1 clomid cycle later Nick and I are delighted to announce that we are expecting our first child in January!!! January 26^th, is my official due date and that makes me 11 weeks and 4 days pregnant. It has been a long emotional rollercoaster ride to get here and we couldn’t be more excited! I would like to share our journey from the beginning.

In October of 2006 we decided we were ready to start a family, we were so excited and like most couples never thought it would ever be a challenge to get pregnant. So, much to our disappointment month after month went by and I still wasn’t pregnant. Our excitement quickly started to fade into what if’s and frustration. After about 9 months of trying we decided it was time to talk to our doctor. We all agreed that it would be a good idea for me to try a drug called metformin. After first cycle with metformin I was pregnant. We were so excited and we couldn’t help but tell EVERYONE.

We had our first ultrasound at what should have been around 8-9 weeks but the baby only measured around 6. It had a very faint heartbeat and my Doctor was a little worried but said that dates may have been off and he would like to do another scan in 2 weeks. Well I never made it to that appointment. Less than a week after that scan I began bleeding, had an emergency ultrasound to find out that the baby had passed away, and had not grown at all since my 1^st ultrasound. Needless to say we were beyond devastated! It was bad enough that we had to endure it at all but it seemed much worse that we had to tell everyone about our loss and hear everyone’s opinions. Dr. Herman really encouraged us not to lose hope and told us in a couple months we could try again.

Once again first try on metformin we became pregnant and once again miscarried. This time we decided not to tell anyone until after our first ultrasound. At that scan there was no heartbeat and we knew it was not a viable pregnancy. It was still hard to endure but we had that hope that we could get pregnant right away again.

A year after my 2^nd pregnancy loss much to our disappointment we still weren’t pregnant. We tried many different treatments in that time such as increasing my metformin, trying different hormone supplements, etc. We had a visit with my Doctor once again and he suggested that we be referred to a fertility specialist.

In February of 2009 we had our first visit with my fertility specialist Dr. Johnson at Overlake Hospital in Bellevue. Immediately we knew we would like him and his “style” as much as we like Dr. Herman. He was so encouraging and gave us hope that we would soon become parents. Over the months of February, March and April we did A LOT of testing to get to the conclusion that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome and I have a diminished ovarian reserve. Both make trying to conceive very difficult. The fix that worked for me was Clomid.

We also had a course of tests done to find out why, once I finally became pregnant why I couldn’t stay that way and that is where the hematologist (blood Doctor) comes into play. I had an abnormal platelet test result and so I was sent to the hematologist. We found out that my factor 8 platelet count (makes blood clot) was too high and protein S platelet count (makes blood stop clotting) is too low. So when I would become pregnant my body would treat that pregnancy as if it were a virus and would destroy it. My body would begin clotting in my uterus and the clots would get so big because I couldn’t stop the clotting fast enough so the clots would literally suffocate the pregnancy. The fix: baby aspirin once a day, and heparin (strong blood thinner) injections twice a day (yes I have to give myself shots) to fix the factor 8 issue and extra folic acid for the protein s issue.

On May 17^th I had a positive pregnancy test, we were both so excited, nervous, and filled with joy that we cried. A few days later, I went to my specialist in Bellevue and had my first ultrasound and of course endless blood tests. All of you mama’s know what I’m talking about, it seems like every time you turn around they need your blood. Those stinkin’ vampires! Anyway my first ultrasound, the baby was so small that they couldn’t even measure the pregnancy, it was only around 4 or 5 weeks. We do have a picture of a little teeny tiny dot from that day.

A week later was ultrasound number 2 at 6 weeks 4 days and this time we saw a small jelly bean baby with the most beautiful thing in the whole world; a HEARTBEAT!!! And a strong one at that! I was so nervous for this appointment because of my past experiences that when the Dr. said “there’s your baby’s very strong heartbeat” I began BALLING, I was so relieved!

Two weeks later we had ultrasound number 3 at 8 weeks 4 days, and this time we saw a gummy bear baby with a big head, little arms and legs, and an even stronger heartbeat! The baby had tripled its size in those two weeks. The nurse was able to count all of its toes (there’s ten) and we got to see the baby move around for the first time. It was so surreal to see the baby move and now know that we are really going to be parents this time. We also heard great news from the Dr. “after three positive ultrasounds you are now released to your regular OB. You have less than a 2% chance of miscarrying. Even with your history, because we have seen the heartbeat twice, the baby IS growing, and you haven’t had any complications. Congratulations!” At the clinic we went to they never say congratulations until it’s the real deal, so that was wonderful to hear!

Here is a picture of me the week my mama belly decided to make its grand appearance. This is me at 9 weeks 6 days

This is me on Tuesday, 11 weeks 2 days.

It scares a little me that I’m showing this much already, I’m going to be huge, but hey at least it will be worth it when I hold my sweet baby for the first time. My next ultrasound is Tuesday and I can hardly wait! The other pictures I have probably won’t turn out super well so I haven’t posted them, but hopefully this one will be clear enough to post. We can’t wait to find out what we are having so we can start shopping and narrowing down names!

After all of our excitement, loss, hope and joy we are so thrilled that we will soon be parents. Thank you to our families and friends for all of the prayers, support, hugs, and tears we have shared over our journey to get this far. We wouldn’t have made it without you holding us up. We love you!